If River Never Existed
by withthedoctorbymyside
Summary: Clara doubts herself when the Doctor tells her he loves her, worried about Clara's odd behaviour the Doctor tries to get her to explain herself.


Clara took a hesitated step into the TARDIS. 'Doctor?' last time she was here, it had been awkward. In a good way at least thats what she thought. He had kissed her. _Properly._ If thats how to say it. She just wasn't sure what it meant. If he wanted her to leave or want it to become more. She wasn't really sure, but didn't want to make a fuss or anything so she just left it when the Doctor approached her from the other side of the console. "Clara," he said his voice trailing away from her, "Doctor" she replied a little too quickly, a silence hung heavily in the air, "So, um where are we going?" Clara asked nervously "Oh, well, I thought you might like a surprise." He said playfully "Are you sure? Last time you gave me a 'surprise' it ended with me in some alien hospital from shock for three weeks" she said lightheartedly "That was not fun the food was blue!" she continued. "Oh, give a Time Lord a break! It wasn't my fault, you scared the TARDIS thats all." he said "I scared her? She slapped me!" Clara toyed with him. As they continued to mess about, the Doctor noticed Clara relax, slowly but it was a start. They were messing around a bit more, seriously now, Clara bringing up things that annoyed the Doctor, and he was doing the same, both of them got more and more agitated within a short space of time, until they started running circles around the console of the TARDIS yelling and ranting with each other when they ran into each other and fell onto the TARDIS's steel floor. Clara looked at the Doctor and he looked back at her, she made a nervous giggle and stared into his deep lonely eyes as he stared into her intelligent brown eyes. "Clara," he whispered "Yes" she said quietly. He didn't reply "Doctor, would you, well do you, _like _me?" "Clara" he said, lost for words " Well of corse I like you…" his voice wandered "You're my best friend…" his voiced faltered "Doctor, you know what I mean." she said. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out "Clara, well, I-I I." he stared at her, her hair, her eyes, they were all so perfect how could he not love her? "Clara, you are the most beautiful human I have ever had travel with me in the TARDIS." he said blushing slightly "Really?" she said mischievously "Really." he said seriously "Now, I think we should get up, the TARDIS is getting embarrassed." he said teasing Clara "So. Surprise?" she questioned "I think you'll like it! Go pack a bag and we'll be ready to go!" Clara ran to her room in the TARDIS, closed the door and let out a deep breath '_Did he just say he loved me? Should I trust him? I've trusted this man with my life girl! Of corse I can trust him! He wouldn't lie about something that important to me or him. Would he?' _she doubted herself for a second before getting up and running to the wardrobe that the TARDIS gave her. Atwo-piece swimsuit hung on a coat-hanger along with a big fur-hooded coat, shorts, t-shirts, jeans, dresses and pyjamas. She took out one of each, not bothering to check the size, it was the TARDIS the size was always right. there was a knock at the door "You ready?" the Doctor called from the other side "Almost!" Clara yelled back "I'll be at the console then" he said before walking up the stairs '_Should I do this?' _she thought but pushed it aside before opening her door and continuing up the stairs, checking her hair in the gleaming TARDIS mirror panels along the corridor that led to her room. As she approached the stairs that continued to the console she stopped and looked down the hallway that led to the Doctor's room, dark, metal panels rested on the walls, the hallway crowded with pictures, maps, and old photographs. But at the ed of the corridor a lone picture sat, framed and dimly lit, a face, someone she knew… "Clara?" She looked up the stairs to see the Doctor standing at the top of the stairs "Oh sorry I took so long I um, couldn't chose what to bring." she lied "Oh." the Doctor said "Well c'mon we've got so much to do!" She sprinted up the stairs and looked at the doctor, he was, as always in his white shirt, formal pants, and of corse the bow tie. There was always the bow tie, it was what made him, well, him. "Ready?" he said sashaying towards the door "Ready." she said blushing a bit when he took her hand. As they walked through the door and out on to a stunning each and next to it a massive waterfall. Clara squealed with delight and looked at the Doctor as he said "Do you like it?" she gazed at him and replied "I love it Doctor." they started into each others eye for a split second before she ran on to the sand yelling "c'mon!" over her shoulder he stood for a minute smiling before running after her. When he caught up Clara said " I'm just gonna go get dressed I'll be two seconds" "Ok" the doctor said smiling as he heard her laugh and run behind a massive tree that bent over and formed a small cove to get changed. He walked back into the TARDIS to get changed telling her as he walked back the way they had come. He strode over to the TARDIS and got changed before walking back out to the beach. Clara stood in the swimsuit staring out at the water,'_I can trust him. I know I can! But he said… No. I won't do it. When you run with the Doctor the trick is not to fall in love I learnt that before.' _she told herself. The Doctor touched her on the shoulder, she jumped "Sorry, you scared me." she said quietly to him "Are you OK Clara? You look a bit pale. Do you want to go back inside the TARDIS?" he had a worried look on his face "No" she said quickly "No, I'm fine, really." she whipped her reply back at him. He looked hurt, they remained silent and her words stung the air "Sorry," he said to her "You just didn't look well, thats all." he whispered "No Doctor, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that sorry, I'm so sorry" Clara looked up at him, gazing at his eyes. His deep, brown, beautiful, swirling, eyes. But no she couldn't fall for him it would never work, she was just human, not a Time Lord or Time Lady or whatever he called it, he would keep traveling and she would have to let go of him. "So," he said "Are we just going to stand around or have a day off?" he said with a glint in his eye before picking her up and running into the water with her over his shoulder. Water swirled and foamed around them as they slashed each other and were knocked over by waves. They were in the water until sunset when he scoped her up in his arms and carried her back on to the beach, placing her carefully in her towel on a deck chair that sat in the sand. "So," Clara said sounding slightly drunk after her fifth glass of wine, while the Doctor drank custard as usual "Whats it like? Out there, by yourself, in the stars, don't you want to know, what your going to do in the future?" He looked into the water sadly "Well, Clara. I don't think about my future, traveling, I don't like to. I'm a time traveler, I can easily interfere can't I? And anyway, wheres the fun in knowing what's going to happen later when I can live for now?" he said quietly to her. "Now, Clara the Human Time Traveler tell me, where's it like living on earth then running away with a mad man from space? he whispered staring with his head tilted questioningly. Her jaw tensed, the Doctor shifted in his seat uncomfortably, he looked at her with his big puppy dog eyes, her doubts stared clouding he head again before she could stop it her mouth blurted out slightly angrily "Why did you come back for me? You said you had a friend who died and I said she said wasn't me? How could I have died? Why did you come back for me? You said you had come back for me? How? I had never met you before? Even if I had why did you come back for me?" he looked at her sadly, leaning over and whispering "You were the only mystery worth solving" she stared at him hard. He looked away, her gaze softened. "Doctor" she started "have you ever loved someone? Like, um, one of your, um, companions?" his eyes whipped down to the sand, he blushed. "Clara." he said simply, she looked at him "Yes?" "No not like that I meant. Clara." she looked at him puzzled "No Doctor I said, Have you ever loved one of your companions like" He cut her off "Clara" he looked into her eyes again, they were just so perfect for him "Well, I think we should be heading back to the TARDIS its almost midnight and apparently the night life around here isn't that friendly." he said teasing her. The pair got up and she slipped her hand into his, she felt so safe, just being able to take his hand in hers whenever she needed to, it worked both ways. If he was stressed or something came up with someone else in the room he always, _always_, held her hand, It was just how things worked for them, and she was happy that way. She snapped her fingers on her other hand, not quite wanting to let go yet. They walked in she sat on the floor of the console and closed her eyes. "You know you do have a bedroom for a reason he said not looking up from where he stood over the console looking at something. "Yeah fine" she said getting up she, walked around the console, standing next to him she looked down at the console. "Whats so interesting down there?" she whispered in his ear "Oh, just fixing up somethings, you know." she looked at him, "Well, I'm off to bed, goodnight." she said hugging him gently she looked up and he looked back at her he leaned down and kissed her. She looked back at him "Goodnight. Clara, you said before have I ever loved any of my companions. Clara, my answer is, Clara." he said gently letting go of her. She looked at the floor, "Goodnight" and left.

Later that night, and into the early hours of the morning the Doctor was still up standing over the console fiddling with things, when the lights started flickering and he could here a voice, getting louder, he did a quick scan, there was no-one else in the TARDIS but him and Clara, the screen flickered and a face looked back at him. "No not you, you can't be here you're dead." he said starting to panic it spoke. "Oh no, doctor, I'm here. And I'm very real. Watch out. Silence will fall, when the Doctor reaches Trenzalore" the screen flickered off. For the next 30 minutes the doctor yelled and screamed at the TARDIS "How did you let that call through! People don't just call me! You recognised that call I know you did, don't play games with me! Don't EVER play games with me!" he heard Clara's footsteps behind him as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "Sorry I woke you up." he said squeezing her hand in comfort. "Nah, I was about to get up anyway. Whats up?" she said concerned. "Nothing but we have to go somewhere quickly, for about an hour if we can." he said starting to fiddle nervously with the console, he apologised to the TARDIS as well.

"So" she looked at his worried face, running her fingers through his hair "Who was that?" "Just, an old enemy. Someone I'd rather you didn't bump into, I don't want to lose you." The Doctor held her hand, under his breath saying "Again." "It seemed a bit more than that, you don't just yell at the TARDIS for everyone" Clara stated lowering her hand off the Doctors shoulder "C'mon where are we going?" she said trying to lift his spirit, he worried even more. He started talking to himself "But you're dead" he tried to track the call "You can't be here" he blocked the TARDIS phone systems " You don't exist anymore" the screen flickered again. Clara ran across with the Doctor to the screen. He slipped his hand into hers and squeezed her hand gently, "Its OK, I'm here this time. You're OK" whispered quietly The screen spoke again "Hello _Doctor_." the screen said it mockingly "Ah, I see you've found your _pet_" Clara through back "I'm not his pet!" "Oh, fiery one eh? Well I wanted to remind you, I'm waiting." the screen went dead as he started to reply "YOU!" he screened at the TARDIS "YOU! Why did you let that through again!" Clara gripped his hand, she went white, "Doctor. What did he mean?" she whispered "He said I was your pet? Why?" she started to feel faint "Clara, that thing should be dead. You don't listen to anything it says OK?" he said looking at her seriously "OK" she whispered before she fainted in the Doctor's arms. He carried her over to a chair next to the console, and proper her up comfortably, he looked at her, he suddenly recoiled, she was bleeding, from her head, something had hit her, _hard_.


End file.
